Blogging ABC

Posted: November 20, 2011 | Author: Jonathan von Breton | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, Rationall Living, REBT | 11 Comments »

What better way to start an REBT blog than by demonstrating REBT. That’s how Al (Albert Ellis) would have done it.

What is my G (Goal)?

I want to write a blog.

What is my A (Activating Event)?

I keep putting off doing the writing.

What are my Bs (Beliefs, a.k.a Bull-Stuff I tell myself about A)?

1. I must write perfectly and brilliantly or it’s a waste of time.
2. I should write things that are creative, insightful and original.
3. What I write has to add considerably to the sum of human knowledge and wisdom.
4. I must credit every source I draw from from, past present and future.
5. If I don’t do 1-4, I’m a miserable failure and worthless human being.
6. No one will read or like my blog and that would be awful.
7. I can’t stand the work/effort need to write a blog and I have nothing original to say anyway so it isn’t worth it.

What are my Cs (Consequences, Emotions & Behaviors resulting fro A times B)?

I feel anxious and self-downing about writing a blog.

Note: This can be written out A > B > C, which is how I like to do it. I can also be be done A > C > B. That is how people usually experience it. That is, A happens. They feel/do C. Then they go back and find the Bs..

How can I D (Dispute) this nonsense at B?

1. I must write perfectly and brilliantly or it’s a waste of time.

Why must I write perfectly and brilliantly? Is there any objective evidence or proof? How likely is it that I, or anyone, even can write perfectly and brilliantly? Does this belief help or hinder me in achieving my goal? Is this an unrealistically perfectionist belief?

2. I should write things that are creative, insightful and original.

Could this be more perfectionist nonsense? How likely is it that I have anything to say that is so creative, insightful and original that humankind can’t go on without it?

3. What I write has to add considerably to the sum of human knowledge and wisdom.

(I’m starting to see a theme here) Is this not just another variation on paralyzing perfectionism?

4. I must credit every source I draw from from, past present and future.

Who says I must? Where is it written? Is there some stone tablet upon which this is engraved as an eternal law of the universe?

5. If I don’t write: perfectly, brilliantly creatively, insight-fully, and add considerably to the sum of human knowledge and wisdom, I’m a miserable failure and worthless human being.

How does failing at this make me a failure? Does failing at anything make me a failure. Am I confusing the verb ‘to do’ with the verb ‘to be’?

6. No one will read or like my blog and that would be awful.

Why would it be awful if no one read or liked my blog? Would it be the absolute worst thing that that has ever happened in the history of the universe? Humankind? Me?

7. I can’t stand the work/effort need to write a blog and I have nothing original to say anyway so it isn’t worth it.

How true is that I can’t stand the effort? How likely is the effort required to write this is going to have fatal consequences for me? Even if I don’t have anything brilliantly original to say, does that mean this blog isn’t worth the effort?

Now I get to E (Effective new philosophy, emotions and behaviors).

Philosophy: My unrealistic, perfectionist demands that I write perfectly, brilliantly creatively, insight-fully, and add considerably to the sum of human knowledge and wisdom, are just that unrealistic. By equating myself worth with my writing, or anything else. I effectively stop myself from doing it. There is no proof at all that less than brilliant writing isn’t worth doing. I do, and enjoy doing, many things. I do all of them far less than perfectly.

Besides, so what if I have nothing new to say. That doesn’t seem to stop anyone else from writing and there is no reason it should stop me!

If I don’t write well, **** it! That doesn’t make me a failure. It makes me someone who doesn’t write well. I’m a damn fool if I make my performance at anything a measure of my worth. As Al said (I think) anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. I can only fail to DO things or fail to DO them well. I can’t possibly BE a failure and anymore than I can BE a kangaroo.

It wouldn’t be awful if no one reads or likes my blog. It wouldn’t even be awful if my blog ends up as a textbook example of how not to write!

My real goals are to spread REBT as a way of living and for me to demonstrate its practice in my own life. A good way to do that is blog. Eve if no one reads it, I still benefit from writing it. I enjoy writing it.

Emotions: I feel little or no self-downing about writing, whether it’s good, bad or indifferent.

Behavior: I wrote this and posted it. I didn’t die in the process, proving I can stand the effort!

Jonathan von Breton

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/75596

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